On Hilary Clinton

PepeDMWhat an unfortunate blog post title.  Not even her husband wants to go there.  You’d have to be a paid agent of the Saudi regime working against the interests of the United States to fall on that hand grenade.  Yikes.

The point of the title is that this post is all about the alt-right debutante ball, or the coming out party hosted by the former first lady and future Prison Warden’s pet.

Much ink has been spilled about the complete and utter disaster that was her speech.  How it catapulted the alt-right from unknown font of cultural trends to nationwide notice.  How it was a typical Democrat desperation ploy reserved for the party’s darkest hour.  How it contained more hypocritical statements than a Bernie Sanders soak-the-rich speech.  How she looked and sounded even more tired and frail than normal.  How it signalled the inflection point in the Madame’s poll numbers which are set to crater.  The list goes on.

It really was a train wreck causing a dumpster fire in the back alley behind a shitshow.  And in all that glorious wreckage one moment stood out among all others.  That moment when some saint of the alt-right gave voice to shining pinnacle of alt-right branding…

Pepe!

Forget all the political analysis and repercussions and poll data showing that the Secretary shot her campaign in the foot.  No point going over all that here, we’re interested in one thing and one thing only: the dungeons with the dragons.  What the heck did that speech have to do with the greatest game ever invented?

That lone voice crying out in the empty gaps between Clinton’s wheezing speech announced that the alt-right is everywhere.  It’s not just living rent free in Clinton’s head.  Even in the belly of the beast listening to the beast, alt-righters were there watching and waiting for a chance to strike.  We are literally everywhere, and we’re not afraid to announce it.  Why…there might even be an alt-righter sitting behind your friendly DM screen.

So play nice, and keep discussion of politics to the same level as discussions about your most recent bowel movements (but I repeat myself), because while we’re a fun loving group with a broad and open-minded sense of humor  We don’t feel the need to interject our politics into every aspect of our lives, but if you crack open that door, then we’re going to we kick it down and leap through it both guns blazing.  We are more than happy to play that game by your rules, and we’ll beat you at it every time!

Also…watch this space.  My new OSR and OGL compatible RPG rule set is going to be dropping within the next two or three days.  It’s as irreverent and topical and hilarious as anything else read in 2016.

 

 

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Plugging Away

My sooper seekrit OSR projekt continues to mutate.  Soon, soooon…

Except it will be delayed by a while today so that I can bask in the loving glow of Hillary Rodham-Clinton’s recruitment speech for the alt-right.  That briar patch sure does look scary!

TopKek

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Genius!

You know how, for about a year now, I’ve been posting inspirational quotes superimposed on the quoted person, but photoshopped them all to look like that historical person was a gamer?  Here’s the one I did of our next president:

TrumpDM

Some magnificent bastard has a Twitter account where all of the posts are related to our next president playing D&D.  His handle is “Dungeons and Donald”, and it’s hilarious.

 

 

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Last Watch For A While

If a towering giant of a man like our next president can be the bigger man and admit to rhetorical mistakes, then a lowly foot soldier in his forces can do the same.

Sometimes, in the defense of the greatest country on earth, (America,) and the greatest hobby within that country, (RPGs,) you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing.  I, like Trump, have done that, and I, like Trump, regret it, especially where again, like Trump, it may have caused personal pain.

Mr. Medeiros seems like a decent guy.  He has an alien way of looking at people, relationships, and social past-times, but we should be able to live with that.  He seems genuinely interested in seeking out alternative viewpoints, and we should be able to discuss those.  He wants to produce the best darn game he can, and he should be able to write that.  Thanks to all the metaphorical knives in my back lovingly placed there by his political allies, I can’t trust him, but that’s a reflection of the reality built by his political allies, and not a reflection of either of our feelings for each other.

So let’s set the USS MAGA on a different course and try to steer the conversation along a gentler tack.

To you political leftists with your faith in the great god of The Narrative, please stop.  Just…stop.

You’re hurting America.

You’re making the RPG community a worse place.  You’re needlessly stirring up animosity and division, and you’re trying to make outsiders of the very outsiders who built the community that you want to commandeer for your own petty political aims.

What seems to you like a nice innocent little ‘ol game about the fantasy that how all men are evil, how the culture of western civilization is evil, and how we can work together to make those things be less noble, less heroic, and more self-destructive, might actually convince some naïve soul that men really are evil, that the culture of western civilization really is evil, and that we really should work together to make those things be less noble, less heroic, and more self-destructive.  Those ideas are bad.  They are destructive.  And they are hurting the hobby.

The cancerous ideas upon which The Watch is constructed are unhealthy, and the hobby community has already contracted a near-fatal dose of them.  You mistake the symptoms of the disease for healthy functioning, and you mistake the healthy functioning for cancerous tumors that must be biopsied.

GenCon attendance is higher than ever, but how much of that increase is due to more RPG players, and how much to GenCon reskinning itself as just another ComicCon?  An RPG convention with ten thousand dedicated role-players is healthier than an IP convention with fifty thousand movie fans and five thousand role-players. But you don’t understand that.  Every RPG convention panel featuring the latest crackpot feminist theory for “discussion”, complete with though monitors ready to eject anyone showing the first sign of dissent from the approved narrative, crowds out a convention panel featuring the hot new game designer or artist or beardy member of the old guard (who we’re losing at an all too rapid clip these days).  But you don’t believe that.  Every Orwellian code of conduct advertised as fair but enforced asymmetrically, even the hint of such enforcement which everyone paying attention to the situation knows to be asymmetric, drives away potential additions to the hobby – good, decent, hardworking centrists who might want to play a game with some nice new people without having to worry about the thought police flipping their table.  But you don’t admit that.

You’re making this small sub-subculture worse.

This small subculture is a part of America, and you’re making that part of America, and by extension America itself, worse.

You’re hurting America.

So please.  Just stop.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a bright new shiny thing to play with.  Watch this space.  It might get quiet for a while, but that’s just because I’m working on something big.

EvilOtterPNG

 

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Sandwich Girl on Constructive Criticism: Not a Big Fan

Somebody went and blabbed to Sandwich Girl that a mean old conservative had disagreed with her on the internet.  You know what disagreeing with a woman on the internet is called in the coming Femtopia, don’t you?  Sarkeesian the Destroyer and what’s her face – the other one – went to the United Nations to tell everyone that under the rules as they should be what I did in my last post has a name.  And that name is rape!

She-of-center literally called me a literal rapist.

Aaaaand, scene. This concludes our episode of SJW Theater, the part of the show where Reagan comes out and sings a silly song.

Untitled

Of course, she didn’t call me a literal rapist any more than old E. Reagan Wright called her a literal lizard person.  Scroll down to the last post and you’ll see for yourself that I asked if anyone had checked her skin care regimen, and suggested that her understanding of human relations was that of a lizard person.  But I never said she was a literal lizard person.

And they roll their eyes when I call them out for hating truth.  And they roll their eyes while they lie.  And they roll their eyes, like ugh, Goddess!

Oh, and she also posted an image on her blog specifically mocking me for being follicley challenged:

calm-your-testes

Tsk. Sometimes men hurt too, but Anna uses their pain for laughs.  So hurtful.  That’s Save versus Shadow.

 

Yep, yep, yep.  One of the “Industry Insiders”, whose twit-talk one post before this cascade consisted of “gaming will never realize its potential for being [a] transformative medium” and one who has pushed hard for the sort of Orwellian codes of conduct guaranteed to result in silencing the wrong kind of gamers (i.e. those who disagree-rape women).  She is currently producing games, but little ol’ her has no intention of making any waves in the greater RPG community, no sir, she just wants to do her little thing in peace and be left alone.

Sandwich Girl sure looks good draped in all that honey-like disingenuousness.

Rule One, people.  Rule One.  Social Justice Warriors Always Lie.

Give her a couple of credits, a couple of moderate sellers, and she’ll be clamoring to replace the RPGPundit on WotC’s payroll for Big D and Daddy Version 6, and the next thing you know those two little paragraphs will grow to chapter and verse lessons in full blown SJW silliness.  You’ll have things like male succubi and mermaids as player characters rather than the mere monstrous abominations they currently are.  You’ll have separate chapters for each letter of the alphabet soup of identities that the SJWs each feel deserves equal time and space and representation regardless of their proportion in the general population or even the target audience.

If you let the SJWs have this inch, if you support Sandwich Girl’s efforts in this endeavor, she and others of her ilk will snatch up miles of land.

The SJWs have been the barbarians at the gates of RPG-town for decades, and when Pundy – that magnificent bastard – stood alone on the ramparts raging and flinging burning oil down upon them, I merely lurked.  Well, not this time, sister.  This time Pundy stands not alone but with me at his side.  Probably edging a little bit away from me on the ramparts, but we’re there together all the same.

We all know that your constant cries for attention (irony alert!) and humble-bragging about how little old you ain’t no threat to the big bad established order are hollow.  Hollow point rounds being loaded into a gun you plan to place to the forehead of the lead designer at WotC until he agrees to rebuild the original and best damn game to make it serve not the fun and adventure of exploration and action, but the all important Narrative and gynocentric zeitgeist of this fallen age.

Which could happen.  It is an even numbered edition of D&D, after all.  Those always suck.

Her strongest defense against the Hulkamaniac* like vigor of this staunch defender of RPGs the way they were meant to be played is that her co-author is a man.  To which I can only raise one eyebrow in amusement and respond, “Nice beard.”

I hope you gamers appreciate this.

You know, I don’t need this hassle.  What with the Hugo Awards going on this week, the divorce papers somewhere on my kitchen table, the diabetes diagnosis, and accidentally impregnating my cat, I got enough going on in my life right now.  The last thing I need now is a slow burn internet argument.

*  Heh.  Goodbye Gawker.  Thank you, Hulk, for teaching us the ways of resistance.  As goes video games, so goes all geekdom.  Hulk has shown us the way, the truth, and the 24-inch pythons.

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Watch This Garbage

Some of you people probably read this blog thinking the author is insane, or autistic, or some kind of sociopathic reprobate.  You’re right on all counts, but that doesn’t make me wrong.

The old saw, “As above, so below,” cuts the other way, too.  It’s also accurate to say, “As below, so above.”  At the micro level, if you don’t wash your hands after performing your morning ablutions, you’re going to wind up eating fecal coliform bacteria along with your food. If you don’t keep your culture clean, at some point you’re going to wind up consuming fecal coliform bacteria along with your entertainment.  If you don’t wash the SJW’s out of the RPG hobby every so often, at some point you’re going to get a whole bunch of shit in your game.

Case in point: Anna Kreider’s “The Watch”

A few choice quotes to bring you up to speed.  Apparently, Kreider gets paid by the word.  I’ve edited this down to make it a little more coherent.  Note that it doesn’t reach full coherency – given the material we’re working with here that’s an almost literal Sisyphean task – but at least you get a window into the mind and soul of a deeply broken woman who utterly fails to understand men:

 

The Watch is a low-fantasy game about women (and other female-of-center people)

Woah, woah, woah.  Female-of-center?  The thought-poo of the left just never stops mutating into ever more virulent strains.  It’s amazing any of them can keep up.

who are fighting to retake their homeland from the Shadow – a darkly sorcerous threat that has the power to possess men and use them for its own violent ends. So much has already been lost to the Shadow – land, loved ones, and traditions. But your people have come together, forming a new fighting force from those able to resist the Shadow, which they call the Watch.

PCs have to roll to Resist the Shadow “when [they] give the Shadow an opening into [their] heart by engaging in toxic behavior”, which is a reflection of internalized misogyny and the toxic scripts that people of all genders – not just men – internalize.

See, what I never actually say when I run the game is that the Shadow is actually patriarchy – I tell them that the Shadow is toxic masculinity, and that’s why the men in this world are so vulnerable to the Shadow. Because the idea of “man” is what makes them vulnerable to its influence. And all of that is true!

sandwich

Don’t tempt me, baby.  Dooooon’t tempt me.

Here’s a woman telling you what makes a real man.  She’s written a game to help everyone – men and women – understand what makes for a real man.  Perhaps the ol’ Alt-Right DM oughta write a game to help Anna Kreider understand what makes for a real woman.  You could whip up a fantasy Sauron that seduces women away from the best things about being a woman, bearing children, raising families, building happy homes, and convinces them they should engage in less worthwhile pursuits like cubical farming, celebrating obesity, and writing garbage RPGs.

 

For just one quick look at Kreider’s abject idiocy, take a look at her idiotic attempt to police the behavior of the Other, which is entirely based on any understanding of how relationships work:

Another notable example happened a couple months ago where I was running (again at a convention) and one PC – played by a guy who looked to be in his early 20s – challenged another PC (played by Drew, actually) to a fight. So they started squaring off against each other, with all kinds of macho posturing for the benefit of the audience of NPCs surrounding them. Again I stepped in before things went any further. “Hey, guys. That’s some macho dick-measuring nonsense you’re engaged in. Roll to Resist the Shadow”.

What she defines as toxic is actually a time-worn and very important aspect of male relationships that has gone a long way towards making the world a better place.  What she calls macho posturing is actually a game of bluff and counter-bluff that if frequently used to prevent the break-out of actual violence.  In her world, men moving straight to naked blades and getting stabby is far preferable to using words and posturing.  A slow build up, time to assess the situation, analyze the threat, and perhaps back down if you’ve bit off more than you can chew…that’s the sort of thing that people do when they face potential consequences for making a bad choice.

 

That’s not a concept with which Kreider has anything more than a passing familiarity.  It’s understandable, as a woman in The Current Year nothing is ever her fault, and you can’t expect her to face the consequences for her choices and actions.  Society has built, and continues to build, a culture where she can always walk away from the consequences of her actions, and when she can’t, somebody will be there to help shield her from them.  Fools like Krieder simply can’t wrap their precious  little heads around the larger sociological implications of what she calls “macho dick-measuring nonsense”, nor can they put themselves into the head space of The Other, and consider the deeper reasoning and experience that leads The Other to act the way they do.

And there’s an interesting observation for you.  For all their moral posturing and finger wagging, it is actually leftists like Krieder who completely lack any semblance of empathy or ability to consider viewpoints that don’t align with their own warped understanding of how the world works.  She provides further evidence for her hatred for the differences and diversity that make this world such a rich tapestry of experience (and here I adopt the soaring verbiage they like to use merely as a subtle dig at their hypocrisy).  Consider this quote, “afterward we had a great conversation about macho posturing and about the difference between masculine bonding-through-insults versus bonding through real emotional intimacy.”

Get that?  One form of bonding is bad and doesn’t constitute ‘real emotional intimacy’ because…well, she doesn’t say, but from the context and what she’s written before it’s clear that this form of bonding is toxic for reasons that…well, just because, that’s why.  Clearly, she doesn’t understand men, male relationships, or even how healthy relationships work.

Just to hammer that last point home, let’s look at that last quote again, “afterward we had a great conversation about macho posturing and about the difference between masculine bonding-through-insults versus bonding through real emotional intimacy.”  That’s not the only time she mentions that the game inspired post-game lecturing on How Things Should Be Done.  Here’s another: “I said, “awesome. That’s super toxic. Please roll to Resist the Shadow.” The player looked surprised for a second, then nodded his agreement and rolled the move, and afterward we had a pretty cool conversation about it!”

Every time a woman says, “we need to have a conversation,” she really means, “I need to lecture you about something.”  (Yes, Obama has used the former phrase a number of times, and every time he says it, he means the latter.  Clearly our first gay president is also a female-of-center person.  No need to vote for Hillary, folks – we already have our first female president.)

Sweet sainted Gygax, Kreider actually does more selling of The Watch as an RPG club with which to beat others about the head with her stunted and sick political philosophy than she does as an RPG game with which to have a little fun with your friends.  Can you imagine your DM plonking a game down on the table, excited to try this new political tract out?  Can you imagine laughing in his face and giving him a metaphorical, if not literal, wedgie for even suggesting that you might want to play a game dedicated to telling you how horrible you are as a person and that this game here will help lift the scales from your eyes and understand that you’d be a much better man if you were only more like a woman?

That’s the world Krieder inhabits.  That’s the way her brain works.  That the way she thinks people relate to each other.

Has anyone checked to see what sort of skin care regimen Kreider uses?  The more I read this blog post of hers, the more I start to wonder if she isn’t some sort of lizard-person wearing a suit made out of human skin.

Yeah, but so what?  So what if a bunch of nutters out on the fringes of the hobby write bizarre and alien games predicated on hateful and disgusting topics almost from the very beginning.  Haven’t small-press games like RaHoWa and Fatal and whatever title Venger Satanis is dumping on the market been part and parcel of the hobby from day one?

That’s a valid point, and I’m glad I brought it up.  Counter-point:

You don’t see the guys behind Fatal, RaHoWa, and Venger Satanis’  puppet-strings sitting on a panel of ‘industry insiders’ at the largest RPG convention in the world, do you?  And (aside from Venger who cannot be stopped without a young priest an old priest and a whole lot of holy water) you don’t see them shoveling more and more garbage on the market all the time, do you?

And why don’t you?  Because back in the day, we wouldn’t stand for that.  We laughed, mocked, and ignored them until they went away.  And for decades the hobby was just a fun way to pass the time.  We’ve lost that magic.  We’ve lost our way.  We don’t just tolerate this ignorance and stupidity, we embrace and reward it.  And the more we embrace this garbage, the more of it we’re going to get.

The more we as a hobby tolerate this sort of nonsense, the more of it we’re going to get.  Let that sink in for a bit.  Do you really want Anna Kreider’s greasy fingerprints getting all over your D&D?  Do you really want all this political nonsense in the hobby?  Do you really want Law/Chaos replaced with Left/Right mechanics?  If not, then for God’s sake, stop encouraging it.  Mock it.  Ignore it.  Whatever it takes, you have to stop this madness, or we’ll all wind up with RPG Hitler.  And nobody wants RPG Hitler.  Not even Pundy.

Worse yet, I might have to write a game.

And nobody wants that to happen.

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Bad Case of The Vapors

Vox* used something I made to illustrate a point.

He even got my name right.  I may need to stop writing altogether, as surely I’ve reached the pinnacle of my success.  Anyway, for those of you who have Vox’s blog blocked by the IT toads at work, here’s what I wrote:

 

*The good one, not the magazine for which ‘fishwrap’ would have been applied back in the day, but which can’t even rise to that level of usefulness because its online.

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