Alt(Star)Hero Three

ah3The third installment of the Alt(Star)Hero comickal books, Reprisal, dropped last week.  As a one legged man myself I’ve been busier than a one-legged Alaska whore the night crabbing season ends and the crabbers come swinging on by to catch a few of my own crabs, but now my decks are clear and my fair seas and following winds gave me a chancet to set on down a spell and bang out some verbiage on the state of things in Avalon.

They are looking better all the time.  As is usual, the first order of business was finding the centerfold and taking care of some one-handed business.  Oncet again, this edition did not disappoint.

ah1That gal to the right is one kitty I wouldn’t mind stroking.  Normally, I mock cat ladies for the lonely and bitter old spinsters they are, but here’s one I wouldn’t mind taking home from the shelter and sharing a bowl of tuna with.  She’s some kind of invisible gal that can phase through walls like that Fazer feller from Chuckie-D’s Avalon, but she does it dressed like my prom date.  She’s just one of the characters that’s really starting to come into her own.  The first two issues of Alt(Star)Hero were great, but mostly as that little horsey doover you get before a really satisfying meal.  Little bites of what comickal books used to be back in the pre-poz days.

With Reprisal we finally get to slow down a little and enjoy a few quiet moments in which characters like Soulsight and Michael Martel and Little Pretty Kitty up there get to show a little character.  It makes the action all the sweeter now that we’re getting some solid stakes and some characters we really care about involved in things.

I mean, I care about a character like Rebel because she’s hot (duh), but now that we’ve got some time invested in her, I’m starting to care about her for my sake as well as the sake of her Little Round Tops, if ya know what I mean.

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I’d send my General Hood into that Peach Orchard, son.

It’s also that Reprisal begins to show us the path forward.  The additional fleshing out of the SPC means that we can start to see how the relationships between the somewhat disjointed stories of the first two issues.  Or at least get some idea of how the stories are headed on a collision course that promises to make for some fine reading.  Somehow, this series just keeps getting better, and I for one can’t wait until next month to see what old Foxy Voxy Day has in store for us new school comickal fans.

 

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GenCon 2019 Posters

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Okay, ,that’s cute, but let’s be serious here for a minute.  The kinds of people cheering on Suckerpunch Rainbow for his blindsiding of Milktoast Hambly don’t have the huevos to step up to the plate and do their own dirty work.  Hell, Pretty Princess Fugitive doesn’t have the stones to fight a real man.  We all know GenCon lacks the grit and spine to host a badass basement bareknuckle fight club.  Hell, I might register if it did.

Instead, this is what they have planned for anyone who dares threaten their precious narrative.  Get ready to bite the curb, gamer cucks, because state enforced homosexuality won’t be enforced by cops.  You’ll be expected to kneel down, pucker up, and wrap your lips around the LGBTi+kids agenda and get to Hoovering not to stay out of jail, but to be allowed to participate in any of your beloved hobbies.

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If you want to escape this mind-numbing fate of being turned into this sad sack of soy based lifeforms, walk away now.

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Come into the light of the OSR where we’ll teach you to play the One True D&D in a way that you’ll earn glory by cheating the fates and outsmarting the Norns themselves, rather than just plonking you down in front of a gaming glory hole like this:

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NFL Gaymday

Remember when the jocks mocked us nerds for our gay past times?

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LOL.  Have fun with that, because you know the fully pozzed commentators over at E-Eth-PN are going to back this play with a balls on the chin full blown reach around, and those of you who haven’t jumped the good ship Lolli Pop Warner are going to have these prancing and shaking their little tushies in your face before and after every other commercial break.  Break out the chapstick and pick a nice soft pillow to bite, jocks, because it’s all over but the antiretroviral shots.

When you’re ready for a real man’s hobby without all the hot man on man ass-grabbing action, sidle on up to my table.  I’ve got the thot-free, OSR style challenge that’s good for what ails you.  Nothing but good times, great puzzles, and the sweet call of adventure, risk, and intellectual challenges that can’t be solved through the application of low cut cleavage or lady-tears of pain at the whims of the dice.

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How About A Case of the Not Gay?

Enough of the Debbis Does Downer Dallas stuff, let’s look at building something up to replace the towering monument to kiddie diddling that sf/f has become since the days of ring fighter Robert E. Howard picked up the pen.

Friend of the blog and frequent subject of adulation from these parts Bradford C. Walker, Texas Stranger Danger, has a crowdjyamuhfundem going for his Star Knight Saga.  Looks pretty badass to me.  Check out this Baba Yaga fighter thingy.
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If the man can write long form prose with the same clear, exciting, and inspirational style as his blog then this’ll be one worth backing.  And he can.  I know it.  I believe in him, and you should too!

 

 

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LOL @ GenConcussion

The first rule of GenCon fight club is…

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We don’t talk about the rules of GenCon fight club.

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Gen Who?

Oh man, I almost slapped my head when I remembered that I almost forgot to enjoy the pleasure of not being at GenCon.  Then I remembered that I don’t have to slap my head.  They have people who will do that for you.

The Con doesn’t stand for Convention anymore, it stands for…hey, what is “con” short for when you talk about a “con job” anyway?  Man, if I knew the etymology of con job, that might have been a real zinger.

I wasn’t going to talk about GenCon this year, but I’m drawn to idiocy like a sexy beast of a moth to flame.

So now we live in a world where the nerd world is breaking down into two camps.  Those who say things like, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t let any pedo walk in off the streets and start leaning over the kids playing Pokyermom card games.  We should probably do something about that,” on the one side and those willing to do whatever it takes to stop them from stopping the pedophiles.  And it turns out GenCon is on Team “Do You Like Gladiator Movies, Timmy?”

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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Going deep on the symbolism on this one.  The right people will get the digs in this pic.

Fortunately, the lads were on top of their game today and won’t let GenCon escape from their decision to support Clown World Nazi Punching Sexpests over regular Joes.  Archive link for ultimate lulz.

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Which of course led to GenCon doubling, tripling, quadrupling down.  Their interactive videos have gone non-teractive thanks to the barrage of, “Sup, Gennie?” from my brothers from another MAGA mother.

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Three more days of this, GenCon.  Three more days.

Hilarious.

For those who don’t know, the guy that got assaulted was run out of Magic: The Gaythering by Wizards of the Coast because he kept asking them to do something about all the people on Sex Offender Registers who were active volunteers at M:tG tournaments.  WotC, as the left wing nuts they are responded with a big fat, “SHUT UP!” and gave him the boot.  Jeepers creepers!  It’s like a fatter, slovenlier version of Hollywood all over again!

Maybe next year you sad sacks will listen to me and stay home this weekend.  Do it for the kids.

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Space Maureens

Heresy.

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“Need”.

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A moment, frozen in time.  Like tears in the rain.

Trends are always linear and unidirectional…until they aren’t.  The looming backlash is going to hit this soy pounder like a high-t tsunami.

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Yeah, Gulliman sounds about right.  Let’s just have Gulliman full on transition and start identifying as female, and then the Ultramarines as a whole can swap out their extra organs for internal reproductive organs.  That way the forces themselves can be as weak and effeminate as the player base.

Hey-o!

Seriously, though, this is a great idea.  Each Chapter should get a full complement of Adeptus Astartitties to aid in the fight to save humanity from the xenos.  Somebody’s gotta cook them meals and do them dishes, and just think about how much more effective those newly minted bints will be at those tasks thanks to the best available technology provided by the Adeptus Mechanicus.

Bur for reals this time, if Gee-Dubs decides to go down this path, they should strap a Warp-Drive to it and converge the IP at record speed.  Start pumping out hambeast Dark Elf sorceresses.  Genderfluid orcs.  An all black-female contingent of the Catachans that never loses because that would be colonialism 2.0.  Drive that value down.  Drive those fans away.  The locusts must be fed, and if losing your large and longtime fan base is the price you have to pay for a brief moment of peace (hellooooo, WorldCon!), then that’s a small price to pay to feed the swarm for one more season.

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