Well, well, well. Look what the email cat dragged in!
It turns out the naysayers were so wrong about AltStarHero that they circled all the way back around to being right about it.
Not that the whole thing was a con and that Vox Day took the money and ran – that’s really more of a Ken Whitman thing . With the first issue of AltStarHero, Crackdown, dropping into the wide open digital hot boxes of backers of the project, the haters and skeptics are once again revealed for the shills and green-eyed jelly monsters we’ve always suspected them to be. The flip side is that, now that the beast is unleashed, we can all see what it was we paid for, and as the Top Men in comics told us it would be, it would be not very good.
Just…not very good in a very different way than the Top Men told us.
The art is passable, better than some Marvel titles (hello, Squirrely Girly), and worse than others. I guess. I’m not much of a comics nerd. (I only know about that reference to Teenage Negaxonic Warbroad that I used in the title because they used her in the first Deadpool movie and I spent the entire film wondering who the heck she was to find out vie Infogalactic a week later when I remembered to look it up that they used her specifically because she was the most obscure character in the Marvel Not Cinematic Universe, so she’s one of those characters that you can use to falsely establish comic street cred by dropping into a conversation that will impress casuals and make hard core fans roll their eyes like pretty much every reference the RPG-thots make to pre-1983 TSR D&D adventures when they flash their deep and grossly tatted-up cleavage at the thirsty betas who actually waste hours watching tedious D&D Live Play videos on You Tube. Bleh. I’d rather watch that Rich and Morty cartoon for grown ass men who still watch cartoons, and that show sucks.)
I digress. I’m not much of an art nerd. Anyone who bought and read my RPG can attest to that. I can barely tell a Sergio Aragones from a Sergio Tornero. It looks to my phillistinian eyes to be on par with the usual first time outings, and will likely improve with time. Little things like word bubble placement and basic blocking take a little leg stretching to hit their stride, and that’ll happen. Vox kinda admitted as much in his response to the early negative reviews. I ain’t gonna belabor the point.
I will say that on the plus side we get a little hot girl on hot girl action. And we ain’t talking about the the fatties and freakazoids that Marvel likes to give us:
What I do want to belabor is how Top Men told me that AltStarHero were wrong about the book’s contents. For one thing, I was promised by people who don’t like Vox that this comic would feature nothing but strong white men as heroes. There’s a couple, sure, but look at that hox Latina minx? She look anti-diverse to you? Heck, the bad guys are ALL white. These aren’t the “alt-right is just the inverse of the SJWs” stylings people who had never read and will never read the comic told me I’d get for my money!
It’s kind of hard to tell, to be honest. The story follows an EU superhero team who launch a crackdown on political dissidents. Dissidents who are well armed and willing to kill the EU superheroes to escape their clutches. They don’t come off very well in the comic. It’s not entirely clear who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. In fact, a Brit who salivates at the idea of selling out his nation to Merkel’s Minions could easily read this comic and sympathize with the EU superhero team. It’s shades of gray, man. Made me think. And I hate that.
People who aren’t Vox Day promised me white hats and black hats and blatant alt-right hate propaganda. That’s right in old E. Reagan Wright’s wheelhouse, baby! As a blatant alt-right hate propagandist I was looking forward some blatant alt-right hate propaganda, and after reading Crackdown, my wheelhouse is disappointingly empty.
This is just like, a normal story. There’s no pandering! People who aren’t Vox Day promised me pandering! I’m a Baby Boomer, for God’s Sake! Pandering is what I live for!
What a gyp!