Old Survey Revival

Sharp dressed and sharp eyed man Andreas Habicher has a totally scientifickal survey up in which he wants your hot and spicy takes on the OSR.  Here’s the link.


Go forth and tell the world what you think.  This may be the only time anyone ever cared what you thought about something.  Don’t let this chance slip away from your fat, Cheeto-stained fingers.  And don’t forget to drop a plug for your favorite Shitlording OSR game-title-thing.  The Earth needs you!

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Secrets of my Nethers

Autarch’s Secrets of the Nethercity has fewer secrets these days.  I backed the Kickstarter for this dungeon, and you still can too.  And you’ll probably want to after you see a few choice pieces of full color artwork by Michael Syrigos.  Look at these beauts:


Sideboob >> Cleavage


The kind of old gods a guy might not mind getting sacrificed to

These are the good guys. The kind of content producers you want to support – who won’t try to run you out of the hobby just because you look good in red hats or once held the door open for a guy who was cousins with a dude whose mother’s roommate’s nephew sold a TV to a member of the alt-RiechTards. He just wants to offer you some old school thrills with a high production and high-playability factor.

Give him your money already. Sheesh.

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Alt(Star)Hero: Five

art2Arkhaven Comickal Books continues to make good on its promise to make comickal books great again.  The fifth installment of the Alt(Star)Hero lineup introduces two MORE characters to the lineup, because why wouldn’t you?  DC and Marvel have decades of history and casts of hundreds of super-powered capes and muties, and to compete you’ve got to pump out those characters like babies on an Amish farm.

This time around we meet the deliciously named ice powered hero who takes all of his drinks neat, Kelvin Nought. (Heh – do you see what he did there?  I’ll leave it to Neal DiGrabby Tyson to explain that joke for the non-scientifickal types).  He appears by protecting a couple of fine upstanding sons of Briton from a gang of the swarthy invaders invited and protected by the globohomo elites currently running and ruining the Isles.  The bobbies go full Tommy Robinson on Kelvin and lock him up for the terrible crime of disrespecting the cultural norms of the murderous new breed of Danes demanding Danegeld from the geldlings at Number Ten Downing.  They are kind enough to offer him early release if he serves the new masters in Brussels by acting as a hitman among the Yanks, an agreement he readily accepts.  I’m thinking he’s a dupe that’ll get with Team OmniNational before all is said and done.  He seems like to decent a guy to fight for Team Pee-EU for long.

His partner, Spinerella, is a hot-blooded and tight-bodied monster girl that should make the perverts on twitter happy, what with the fangs, creepy eyes, and ability to shoot gross white strands from her glands.  (Hey!  I have that superpower too!)  She sassy.  That’s it for now.  Just sassy.


Bringing new meaning to the word “splash” page.  In my pants!

And that’s it for new characters.  Just the two of them, which feels lighter than usual, because it is.  At least until the next issue when we’ll get six more new names, powers, and personalities to keep track of.    The world of homo sequins is big and sprawling and covers a lot of territory both map-wise and idea-wise, but dadgum it would be nice to tap the breaks, bonk these characters off each other a few more times so that we can get to know them a little better, and then ease a few characters in.  The best parts of this issue are the short sequences with Rebel and Hammer and the rest of the Yankee Scooby Gang, when they have a chance to breathe and interact.  It makes the issue-ending fight so much more meaningful.

Others have called this the best issue yet, and it is.  The art is much improved, and it was fine to begin with.  The word bubbles are better, and the characters are starting to develop deeper personalities.  It’s odd to say that the plot is moving too fast and yet too slow at the same time.  Too fast because too many characters a\makes my brain hurt and I can’t keep track of who is where.  Too slow because all these vignettes introducing characters means less time for the world itself to develop.  Which is what I really want to see.  I want to see yellow-jackets backed up by the flatfoots and a few sequens going toe-to-toe with Merkel’s-minion-Macron’s minions beneath the Arc de Triumphe.  I want to see Rebel and Dynamique square off, preferably in a six inch deep pool of hot oil.  I want to see Captain Eur-dope-uh get his teeth kicked in by literally anyone again.

That’s the good stuff, baby.  Let’s go ALREADY!

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Market REEEE!search

Brainstorming for a  new OSR game.  Anyone up for some playtesting?


The LARP is gunna be LIT!

Come at me, ya filthy syrup sucking canuck.  I’ve got mah rake ready, locked and loaded!

Seriously, thought, I have no idea who Baby Stewie was targeting with his exclusionary rhetoric.  I’m the worst character in the OSR community, and I game down at the local nerd hatchery with all sorts of people.  Democrats, foreigners, Chinamen, pinkos, chinkos, fags, traps, commies, ragheads, and once I’m pretty sure I even gamed with a Mick!  So tolerant.

You square conformists don’t have anything to worry about in your dull, white, middle-class, gated communities.  Your privilege keeps you safe, so long as you stick to the long and ever changing list of rules and requirements.  So boring.  The only ones who have to check their tongues at the table are we underground Merry Pranksters pasting “It’s Okay to Be White” stickers all over the campus steam tunnels during our LARP runs.

Boy do those get the local college RPG club’s knickers in a twist when they find them.

But bear in mind that the current crop of kids knows all the dog whistles.  They know all the silent shivs and sly winks.  You’d shit your lacy undergarments if you knew how many times fresh faced teens snapped their focus on me, wide eyed with shock, because one of the adults dropped a sly, winking reference to That Which Must Not Be Discussed, and did it in polite company.  You’d panic if you understood that the kids are alt-right, and having grown up under the shadow of your forced conformity and mobs of harridan teachers and administrators, they’ve become adept at hiding in plain sight.

Just like old Uncle E. Reagan, who helps groom them along the dank paths of the seedy underbelly of the hobby.

You think you’ll outlast we happy few, we band of alt-right brothers.  And you might.  But we’ve got youthful rebellion on our side.  The tighter you clench your fist, the more young minds slip through your grasp.  You’re old.  And you’re boring.

And the kids are alt-right.

You’re just too dumb to notice it.

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The Rot Accelerates

Fat goth chicks everywhere are up in flabby arms about the latest nontroversy to rock the RPG world to its very core.  Sharp eyed reader and silver voiced ex-Geek Gab host Brian Kneemire brings us the two scoops:


Sorry for the edit – gotta dodge them Meme Bobbies, you know?

How much stress is that gal’s corset under?  Don’t stand too close, if it lets go it’ll bring down the whole building.

UntitledsThe mob circles the drain ever faster in its hunt for targets of opportunity, and all the apologies in the world won’t save you.  Apologizing is just throwing more chum in the water when the sharks are lashing out in every direction.  This is habbening in the OG camp of the aint’s – the early-nineties White Wolfers were proto Ess Jay Dubs who sneered their way right past 2nd Edition AD&D (too much math, you see) and into the jiggly, tatted arms of the OG storygame “Vampire Colon The Masquerade” where they could focus on story first and game whatever, man.  Not even the storygamers are safe from the savagery of storygamers whipped up into a frenzy.

It’s not that big of a deal, really, because Vampire sucks and deserved to die and be buried with the consecrated host in its mouth wa-hay back in 1992, but it’s instructive as another sounding of the death knell of the entry-ridden hobby.  It’s a good sign – it means the predictions of eating their own continue to prove true.  And it’s good it happened in the White Wolf community.

If this had blown up in a real part of the RPG hobby instead of the gross patchouli oil and black leather corner, somebody that matters might have gotten hurt.

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Good Luck Wi’ Dat!

It’s all over, boys. Close up shop and find a new hobby.


Three hours later, the peanut butter went on his crotch.

“The hashamatag HomOSR is for everyone. Not so fast, normal person! I’ve got virtue signaling to do so that I can be the last one to get the full diversity (aka chasing down the last white guy) treatment. Please don’t ostracize me, I’m one of the good ones!”

You ain’t the boss of me, Baby Stewie, and I ain’t going nowhere.  Get ready for my first professionally published adventure that starts with a 30×30 room with a pit in the center, then twists around a few familiar corridors all done in a nice pale traditional blue.

You know blue, Stewie, it’s the traditional color for boys.  Oh, wait, you probably don’t.  You should make a rainbow version of that little logo to signal harder what a good little lickspittle you are to the cultural tyrants.  That’ll show ’em.

Frickin’ nerds, man.  Why’d we ever let them in this hobby in the first place?

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More later.  The drain in the men’s bathroom at the porno theater is clogged with pubes again.  Gotta go snake it out.  If you don’t know what fresh hell of stupidity this is, brace for incoming.  I’ll explain more fully in a few hours.

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