You know how we’re waiting to learn how much Uncanning Magazine is going to pay me for the honor of my gracing their pages with the very first adventure of Ultimate Hero, my super-duper-heroic SJW? Well, I’ve just put the finishing douches on the second and third installments. Not only that, but I’ve got a cover prepped as well. The gabbers have seen it already, but here it is you for degenerates:
And now, without further ado, here’s a breif excerpt from the continuing adventures of Ultimate Victim:
I heaved myself up from Mayor Echoes’ leather sofa with a wet tearing noise. “Exactly what kind of video games am I looking for?”
“The kind with buried messages of patriarchal rule and misogynistic undertones, naturally,” she scoffed. “We know of two so far. In the first the player pilots a white ship, naturally, and hides behind a series of walls shooting at aliens who are just trying to set foot on the land that he probably stole from their ancestors – a clear piece of propaganda designed to instill fear of immigrants and a love of walls in the player. We can’t have that – people might want walls around this country.” She scoffed, “What do they think this is, Israel?”
“Goddess damned walls,” I muttered enthusiastically. “Whichever cis-het white man invented those should be made to choose End of Life Care. What good have walls ever done anyone?” I crossed my arms and leaned against the flat horizontal structure into which the door to her office had been installed.
“Just so,” Mayor Echoes said, adjusting a framed Soviet propaganda poster that hung on the thing holding up the ceiling of her office. “The other one features a yellow man in all of his white-privilege glory gobbling up all of the resources on the screen, and he steals them from the ghosts of the people of color that this man genocides. Normally scared, the yellow becomes brave and capable of stopping the ghosts of color if he ingests a White Power pill.”
“My Goddess,” I cried. The audacity and the hatefulness of that image made me weak in the knees, and I had to sit down in my scooter. “It’s clear the message they were sending with that game.”
“You see now how serious this situation is,” Mayor Echoes said, going back to her accounting ledger. “See to it – I know if anyone can unearth the horrific source of these scourges, it’s you. Nobody can root out problematic situations in this otherwise perfect utopia like you, Ultimate Victim.”
“Don’t worry,” I told the Mayor, “They haven’t made a situation yet that I can’t find a problem in. I’m on the case!”
So good, right? You’ll have to wait for Uncanning Magazine to read the whole thing, because I can’t publish the trilogy until after they publish the origin story. Hollywood knows you can’t have a super-dee-duper-hero story without an origin. You HAVE to have a character arc or audiences will burn down your gated community, and my character has lots of arcs! Look at that cover – she’s nothing BUT arcs!
Peaches and cream!