Trash Takes Take the Cake

Geddaloada this weak-ass piping hot garbage fresh from the landfill:

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Ack?  One word and we’re already off to a childish start to some entitled Millennial dopery.  I’m going to need to change into a couple of different outfits to analyze this.

DM HAT ON!

Whadda yutz.  We’re pals who get together to share a good time.  You don’t need to bribe me to do it.  Funny thing about preparing for game time, nobody has a gun to your head.  It’s something that we classy and refined and well-spoken nibbas do…brace yourself for this…for fun!  We enjoy it.  We’re glad to have victims to squeeze through the wringers our twisted and degenerate minds craft when we should be focused on less important things than gaming like hygiene or kids.  If you think your players should be paying you for the time you spent enjoying yourself, then you are a bad person.  You should feel bad about yourself.  You clearly don’t like yourself and no one else does either – stop playing my beloved D&D and take up a solitary hobby like stamp collecting or hanging yourself by the neck.

PLAYER HAT ON!

No.  Piss off with this lame-ass plea for free stuff.  If I get you something nice it’ll be because we are gud frens, not because I feel like I owe you for your half of the transactional nature of co-operative entertainment.  What am I supposed to buy gifts for the slobs that sit across from me at the Magic: The Gathering tournaments too?  That ain’t gonna happen, and not just because I’m not gay enough to play that tabletop Pride March simulator, neither.  Can’t we just enjoy each other’s time without you begging me for scraps from my lucrative career as an elbow model showcasing the finest in arm sling fashion on the runways of New York, Paris, and Des Moines?

BLOOGER HAT ON!

The username looks legit, but I changed it to something more appropriate to protect the mentally challenged twatter that posted it.  You can tell this was written by a chick, because it’s vapid and selfish and there are 305 dudes not worth having sex with who love it (just in case).  I wouldn’t buy this broad dinner to chat with me for an evening.  You can almost write her D&D campaign for her just from this tweet.  Urban adventure in an Anything Goes But No Nazis knockoff of Waterdeep with lots of “social combat” *vomit emoji* and lots of woke points to be scored by a population that somehow reproduces despite eighty percent of the citizens being in deeply committed and monogamous same-sex relationships.  Hey, it’s fantasy, if they can have dragons, they can have the last four words of that sentence.  In the words of Pope Rope-A-Dope, “who am I to judge?”  I’m Judgy O’Judgepants, Lord Mayor of Judgetown and Protector of the Empire of Judgelandia, and you can too!

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About The Alt-Right DM

At long last, a tall cool drink of alt-right water in the midst of a liberal and cuckservative desert. Inspired by the need for soldiers in the Culture War, E. Reagan Wright volunteered to stand up to the forces of progressivism before they complete their takeover of the once energetic, diverse and just plain fun hobby of role-playing games. A lone voice in the digital wilderness preaching to that quiet, right-wing remnant that has languished in the cold for years. E. Reagan Wright loves his Mom, guns, apple pie, football, and calling that lesser game by its rightful name - soccer.
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3 Responses to Trash Takes Take the Cake

  1. The Mixed GM says:

    I agree with you… but if someone slipped me some cash at the table, I wouldn’t refuse it!

    (But I would keep my objectivity. Just because you slipped me a benjamin, it don’t mean that I’m letting you re-roll that save vs. death!)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thoth Hermes says:

    I’ve been Gamemastering various RPGs since 1978 and I have never gotten, nor expected, any gifts from my players. That’s not just ridiculous, it’s despicable.

    In fact, most of the time I’ve been the host, so I’ve provided at least some of the refreshments. And when I ran a game at a store I helped a couple of my players out when they needed a buck or two for a soda.

    Some of my FRIENDS who game with me have given me Christmas or birthday gifts because they’re my FRIENDS, but they would do it anyway. And that’s as it should be.

    Liked by 3 people

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