Magic: The KiDiddling

Ye Holy Cats and the Great God Almighty, what the hell is going on in MagicLand?

Your old Pal E. Reagan Wright was never much one for CCGs.  Richard Garfield breathed new life into the tabletop hobby with his money pit of a game, but he also moved the dear sainted center of the RPG universe from good old middle-Merican Wisconsin and my hometown of Lake Geneva to the Left Coast where it was destined to be infiltrated by SJWs like my backside in the shower during my recent ninety-day spa treatment at the local County Men’s Club for Wayward Rapscallions.

UntitledIt turns out electing Donald J. Trump wasn’t just the catalyst for smoking the pedos and sexpests out of Hollywood…and the media…and the Senate…and stand-up comedy…well, you get the idea.  The God Emperor’s reach even extends way down the food chain to the niche hobby of a niche hobby, and his minions are literally everywhere.

First one of those plain jane gals with the wide hips and fishy lips quits the cosplay game thanks to being pawed by fedora neckbeards one too many times.  Who could have seen that coming?  Now Wizards blew out a popular CCG commentator for the thoughtcrime of joining with 62,000,000 other Americans to vote for a Nazi like Trump, which inspired muh dude Jeremy Hambly, and clear reader of SJWs Always Lie to make the rubble bounce on his way out the door.  Booting Hambly, faithful servant of the GE, just meant that he broke containment and had no reason not to spill the kiddie-diddling beans that WotC had been sitting on for so dang long.

This explains Dan Harmon’s popularity and the existence of HarmonQuest.  Like attracts like.  These fantasy and sci-fi nerds just can’t tear their eyes away from fat, childless weirdo beardos even unto the point that they are willing to watch these guys play a game that they could be playing themselves.  Seriously, nerds, you don’t have to be random strange women to nerd-celeb’s Louis CK.  Stop playing with yourselves, letting other people watch you play with themselves, and hie on down to the local nerdery to sit down and play with living, breathing (probably shallowly thanks to the stanks, but you know) people.

They didn’t let me play RPGs in the clink.  Well, my cellmate had an RPG that he liked to LARP, but I’m really more of a tabletop guy that a LARPer.  Not having face to face playing time for 90 court ordered days almost killed me.  I am chomping at the bit to get down to the local for some dice time.  Watching tedious people slur their way through in-jokes for three hours is a worse way to go through life than fat, drunk, and stupid.

Take it from a guy who knows.


About The Alt-Right DM

At long last, a tall cool drink of alt-right water in the midst of a liberal and cuckservative desert. Inspired by the need for soldiers in the Culture War, E. Reagan Wright volunteered to stand up to the forces of progressivism before they complete their takeover of the once energetic, diverse and just plain fun hobby of role-playing games. A lone voice in the digital wilderness preaching to that quiet, right-wing remnant that has languished in the cold for years. E. Reagan Wright loves his Mom, guns, apple pie, football, and calling that lesser game by its rightful name - soccer.
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One Response to Magic: The KiDiddling

  1. HarmonQuest was incredibly lame.
    I know five random guys from G+ who run a better game. I know 12 year olds that are funnier and better at roleplaying than anyone on that show. I could write a better quest than his mish-mash of ultra-generic fantasy crap.
    However, like much of mass-marketed anything, it is aimed a the lowest common denominator who have no frame of reference and are so ignorant that bad copies of good games and good comedy seem like gold to them.
    There are people who are interested in phalanx infantry combat (These people play RuneQuest). Then there are people who think Ancient Greece should be 300. The twain shall never meet.


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