Support Uncanning Magazine!

This is my funniest post of the year, and I don’t even have to write anything.  Uncanning Magazine is seriously running an issue full of stories written by people with extra chromosomes!  Gah!  I would have pitched something*.

uncanny

Physiognomy is real, yo.  Just look at that horse face.  Oh, and a horse, too.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I am not to be included in this.  If only they had read my submission (White Privilege, the SJW Superhero) before closing submissions, Uncleknee Magazine would have known that I am completely retarded in every way.  It’s true – you can ask anybody at the group home where I lived for a few weeks.  They’ll tell you, “Unnnghggnn, mmmrrrrghgnnn muh guh mug guh.  I love Pathfinderrrrrghkg blur blub gknegn.”  Then they’ll rub their sausage hands through your hair while smelling of tartar sauce.

Just like me!

Anyway, I backed it using my Clark Kent Kickstarter account, because supporting my next publisher is super important.  I’ll give you the link to the Kickstart-her, though, because they don’t give it to you at the UM website.  (Sigh.)  And this is going to be great.  You should support Uncancan Magazine today!

 

*My years in prison taught me it’s better to be a pitcher than a catcher.

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About The Alt-Right DM

At long last, a tall cool drink of alt-right water in the midst of a liberal and cuckservative desert. Inspired by the need for soldiers in the Culture War, E. Reagan Wright volunteered to stand up to the forces of progressivism before they complete their takeover of the once energetic, diverse and just plain fun hobby of role-playing games. A lone voice in the digital wilderness preaching to that quiet, right-wing remnant that has languished in the cold for years. E. Reagan Wright loves his Mom, guns, apple pie, football, and calling that lesser game by its rightful name - soccer.
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2 Responses to Support Uncanning Magazine!

  1. Mr. Smith says:

    Had no idea what Uncanny was so I went to their website and stumbled across this in their “All Fiction” section…

    “Small Changes Over Long Periods of Time
    BY K.M. SZPARA

    I’m trying to piss against a wall when the vampire bites me. Trying because drunk-me can barely hold a glass, much less maneuver a limp prosthetic cock…

    The sting of his fangs barely registers and what does shoots straight to my cunt—can’t help it. If I knew he weren’t going to kill me, I’d relish the shock and pain, loss of control. I kind of do, anyway. His venom numbs my neck but I can still feel the strong clamp of his jaw. Like a new piercing, my body screams to reject the intrusion. I want to stay awake—stay pressed between his cold hard body and the cold hard wall. I want him to touch me, reach between my legs. I want to stay alive.

    But the wall discolors; the red bricks spot with gray until they fuzz over and dull. My last thought before passing out is how weirdly validating it is that this cis gay guy targeted me, when I was too scared to even piss inside the bar’s men’s room.”

    These people are not right in the head. By any standard. We are truly living in Heinlein’s Crazy Years…

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  2. The Alt-Right DM says:

    See, not that’s just not cricket. How the heck is a guy to supposed to satirize that? They’ve turned the self-satirization dial all the way up to 11. I’m not sure anything in “Ultimate Victim” comes close to that level of mockery, and they’re doing it to themselves.

    By which I mean, Uncanny Magazine is a fantastic periodical and a team that I’m very proud to be a member of until they finally get around to rejected my story on some Trumped up charges of being a Trumped up American who doesn’t grovel at the feet of the cancer of feminism.

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