The Ennies came out today, and once again the forces of Cultural Marxism show their true colors – yellow in the belly and blue in the balls – by denying the expected sweep of the awards by the groundbreaking, poingnant, and life affirming Shitlord: The Triggering. It’s only the most hilarious role-playing game to come out since HoL: Human Occupied Landfill!
Brief aside, my ten year HoL campaign should be wrapping up in the next few weeks, which would make me sad if I wasn’t a Russian robot specifically programmed to target Twitter. Ever since I got banned, I am a bot without a purpose, and all my sorrow-circuits are occupied full time with feeling sad about that. HoL will always have a special place in my heart, though, because the art work reminds me of my dorm room from back in the day.
To say nothing of the obviousness of Ye Olde Reagan Abode as the clear frontrunner for:
Anyway, look at this hit parade of losers: Link to Enema Awards. And notice how Shitlord should have won running away with the following categories:
Best Art, Cover – Eh, it wasn’t even my art
Best Art, Interior – Memetastic
Best Electronic Book – So cheap, much win!
Best Family Game – Redpill those kids early, Mom and Dad!
Best Game – Come on!
Best Monster/Adversary – Fishmouths? Hellooooo?
Best Rules – Swords and Wizardry reskinned the way Deus Vulted it to be!
Best Setting – Real world is best world!
Best Writing – Hemmingway died wishing he could write like this
Product of the Year – No other product changed the face of the nation like Shitlord: The Triggering. You think Trump would have been elected had it not been for the release of this game? Go tell it to the squirrles, they like nuts. Published on September 15, 2016, I pinched out this fat deuce of game and it hit the toilet that is the RPG marketplace with such devastating effect that the ripples of its power echoed back in time to September 12th and caused Hillary Clinton to collapse on stage. Three weeks later, the delicate cheesehead SJWs cowered beneath their blankets instead of voting for Crooked Hilary and thus Shitlord paved the way for the God Emperor to ascend to the Cherry Blossom Throne.
So hey, keep your little peasant awards, RPG nerds! I’ve got a 2018 Hugo Award winning story that’s going put E. Reagan Wright on the map. Once I bring that silver rocket home from the Pedophiles Anonymous Convention known as WorldCon, we’ll see who gets the last laugh. (Spoilers: It’s going to be me. I’ve been practicing.)