Time to celebrate the greatest nation on this or any other planet. She might be seriously ill thanks to a cancerous injection of feminism which has allowed the associated pathogens of unlimited immigration and thought policing to intrude, but the good old US of A was built by pioneers, and their descendants are actively developing antibodies sure to beat back the infection and remove the parasites that are weakening their beloved homeland.
It’s a great time to be alive, and as always, a great time to be an American! I don’t know about you, but I’m going to celebrate by putting on my Old Glory thong, drinking Jack Daniels like it’s going out of style, and shooting off all sorts of bright splodey things. And every air burst and loud noise will remind me of the battles fought and run to free American from the tyrannical yoke of European ways of doing things. It was so much fun the first time, let’s do it again!