You ever been tap-dancing around an idea, stalking it, hunting it, not quite sure where it was in the bushes, but ready to flush it out, jump on it, tear its head off and drink of its blood to makes its essence your own? Sweet, me too. But this time, some jagoff beat me to the kill.
Bradford C. Walker is a solid mensch. Back when I was posting at RPG.net (I got better) as American Badass, he always struck me as a level headed and sober fellow. Ever since I developed measurable levels of testosterone in my bloodstream, I stopped posting there, but he’s one of a handful of dudes – and they are all dudes – whose writing I miss. At least until I found his blog, which I’ve been a regular reader of for some time now. Once you read his latest post, you’ll see why:
Guess what “Storygames” are? The attempt by people who can’t hack it with proper tabletop RPGs to exploit the competitive nature of gamers by gaslighting them into accepting the fakes’ redefinition of the medium as valid. Fake Games for Fake Gamers indeed.
Not even the hard work of Pundy could save D&D5: The Ensqualminating from the ravening hordes. Oh, he gave it the old college try, but in the end it’s the same old cookie treadmill. I’ve got a post similar to Walker’s dropping later this week on how D%D is for losers, but this post right here is analytical gold. Go read it for other gems like:
All of this, because they just could not grok that to make in RPGs–being wargame derivatives–you have to Git Gud to succeed. In order to Git Gud, you have to get out there and compete. You have go out there, fail, and then learn from your failure before you try again. With each new character, new adventure, new campaign, new game you get better. The entire point of gaming is to teach you how to fail, how to recover from failure, how to benefit from failure, so that you can properly earn–and appreciate–your success.“Storygames” directly undermine this justification for gaming’s entire existence by making it anti-competitive.
I made the mistake of reading this post at the local public pool and they kicked me out because my tumescence all too clearly visible through my bright green Speedos, even under the rolls of my front-butt. Here’s more – get the tissues ready, reader:
The other thing rabbits grok that we often forget because we’re too close to see is that gaming derives from training for war, and politics is war by other means. Therefore, gaslighting the culture is war by other means, and it’s long past time to start naming and shaming the fakes in our midst. Welcome their disapproval, their disavowal, their tut-tuts and nay-saying- and then ban the living fuck out of them. Permanent. Lifetime. Bans. There’s no hiding place for fake gamers or fake games here any longer. Git Gud or GTFO!
Damn you for putting this together before me, Bradford C. Walker! You’ve stolen my thunder out from under me, and gotten me banned from yet another public pool. If I didn’t want to have your gaming-babies so bad I’d swear eternal vengeance upon you, you magnificent bastard, you!
Oh, and that Dangerous Gamers book is amazing. I’ll post an objective and completely dispassionate review about how good it is once I finish it. Frisky Pagan is right up there with B-Walk when it comes to this sort of cultural analysis. I’m no slouch, but Im’ not fit to carry and sniff their used lime green Speedos. Guess I’ll have to stick to do that to my own.