typing better now, but slow. feeling better. think healing potions taking effect. they call them medication, but they can’t fool me. i know. I KNOW, MAN!
don’t want them to hear me type so loud. hard to remember why i am here. they said low SANITY points, but it makes no sense. i don’t play call of cthulhu. i think. maybe this isn’t a game. maybe i saw something. can’t remember.
i built a small table fort. its paper taped together and standed up in front of me. tri-fold. i hide behind it and roll dice so no one can see. i cant explain why. it just feels right.
head feels fuzzy. like that time they gave me too much ritalin in grade school. and high school. and at my mcdonalds job. i dont know whats going on. not sure where i am. everything is clean and white. its not heaven or there would be more dice and anime boobs. its quiet and they let me color and talk to people in groups and play board games.
i like talking to people in circles and play games, but the games are. they are. they are.
i dont know. they are wrong. i dont like the boards. i like the dice. stole some and rub them all day. dice are good. but not boards. dont need boards. i try to explain to mean nurse and nice nurse, but its hard. cant explain it right – dont need boards for the games. you can play in your head. they dont understand a game you play in your head. i know it is good, but have no words to make them understand.
they have books here. you read them. but they are new. they nurses said to read, but i. it wasn’t. no harry POTtER! i told them, NO HarRRY PoTTER! NO HARHRY PTOROTTER!
they tied me to a bed until i calmed down. i felt bad. i dont know why i did that. i just couldn’t help it.
doctor fatface said he knows why no harry potter. he said that harry potter is a perfect metaphor for the modern zeitgeist that resists fascism by escaping to entryist level fandom to salve their egos when they are hurt by mature understandings of history, religion, and politics. i nodded because when you nod a lot you get ice cream. then he asked what would e reagan like to read.
i scrunched my eyes shut really hard. and i thought really hard. and a word came. just one word. i didn’t know what it mean, but it just slipped out.
doctor fatface nodded. he must want ice cream.
i’m not tied to the bed anymore. i apologized to nice nurse. he reminds me of somebody.