Our hobby is sick. It has contracted a debilitating disease that is enervating and degenerative, and there’s no cure disease that can fix it. There is a cure, but it’s going to take a solid, collective effort to apply it consistently enough to send the tabletop gaming community’s cancer into remission.
Of course the disease that I’m talking about is the always self-destructive memeplex commonly referred to as SJWitis – an inflammation of the leftist ‘feelz’ hivemind. The symptoms are all there:
- “Everybody gets a trophy” style gaming
- DMs who morph the challenges in the world to suit the player’s capabilities
- A preference for long form narrative campaigns over sandbox style exploration
- Demands that groups adhere to Orwellian political speech at the table
- Strict yet arbitrary “codes of conduct” at game conventions
- The injection of political allegory into the campaign world and professional products
- Major gaming companies undergoing full convergence – shifting their primary mission to serving the leftist narrative rather than the production of fun, high quality, lucrative, and universal gaming products.
It’s an ugly disease that leaves it’s victims marked by such physical signs as fishmouth, diarrhea of the mouth, rainbow colored hair, extreme testosterone deficiency, gross obesity, and aspergers. It’s tragic and pitiable.
Fortunately, there is a cure for SJWitis. Exposure to Shitlords has been known to send victims of this terrible disease into remission. In most cases the disease is not cured, but the afflicted person learns to mask the symptoms of the disease when out in public – they cease to be vectors of transmission, which benefits society by reducing the number of afflicted among us. In many cases, however, exposure to shitlordism counters the effects of SJWitis by
One thing you can do to help expose victims of SJWitis is purchase and play Shitlord: The Triggering, available from Lulu now. But even if you have a better game (there are plenty of those) that you prefer to play, you can always inject a heavy dose of shitlordism into every gaming session. A few well placed references to the positive effects of the holocaust of your choice – there have been plenty – wearing your MAGA hat, celebrating the political victory of truth and peace over darkness and slow-motion invasion by the ravening hordes, using the term ‘gay’ as a perjorative, and a stiff-jawed boldness in the face of the clutched pearls and fainting spells of those suffering from SJWitis…all these go a long way towards encouraging the afflicted to cast off the chains that bind them.
Pushing history towards an upswing in its cycle is so much more fun than frantically racing to try to be on the ever-changing and ludicrous notion of the ‘right side of history’ is a blast. Decent people do it all the time. Heck, it’s a requirement for decent people, and the degenerate SJW-chasers know that it’s a better way to live. They know that exposure to shitlordism is contagious – that’s why they try to erect strict methods of limiting exposure to it at home, at the table, and at the conventions. They fear it BECAUSE fierce dedication to truth and a rock-solid frame of mind in the face of weakness is so much more powerful than their “woe is me, all is pain and I’m always a victim” attitude.
Look at me!
I used to be a 200-pound couch bound mincing homo sitting in my mom’s spare trailer. Yeah, 200 pounds isn’t that much, but speaking as a guy 5-foot 2-inches tall, that’s a lot of weight. And my mom trailer home doesn’t have a basement, so she made me move my sofa and computer to the back porch. But that’s all besides the point – the point is that a few years of exposure to /pol/ turned me into the magnificent beast that I am today. At 5-foot 6-inches tall thanks to my chiropractor, and 175 pounds of pure shitlord attitude, the biggest health risk that the Alt-Right DM faces today is the constant risk of slipping and falling on the floors made slick by the arousal of the women that surround him.
So do your part to make the tabletop gaming community better! Expose yourself to an SJW today!