Everybody’s favorite lovable losers, the RPG.net circle-jerk are at it again. Begging for money to try and keep the lights on for another fun year of dumping on the RPG hobby, abusing its mentally ill members, and twisting themselves in knots trying to justify the ludicrous notion that, “Because I said so,” is fair and impartial moderation. It’s a terrible place. Really just an awful, nasty place. I’d rather watch an Amy Schumer “comedy” show than visit that website. Heck, I’d rather have sex with Lena Dunham’s fat-folds (the only way to get ‘er done, no doubt) than read RPG.net.
Which is not to say that RPG.net should go the way of the Dodo. Au contraire, mon sexy, sexy frere. Thank the God-Emperor for RPG.net. The tabletop gaming internet community needs a grease trap to catch and sequester all the worst dregs of the hobby, and RPG.net steps up to that plate and hits a home run every time. If RPG.net were to disappear tomorrow, by Friday you’d see a diaspora of funky smelling, smug and delusional, intellectually challenged inmates blundering about the internet pooping in their hands, rubbing it in their hair, and then triple dipping it in the salsa.
Keep them locked up in the voluntary asylum of RPG.net, I say. And make them pay for the privlege. Every dollar they throw at Shannon “Chooser of the Unclean” Applecline is one less dollar they have to throw at a fully converged company that produces actual content.
Without question, the tabletop gaming hobby is comprised of misfits and oddballs of all stripes. That’s a plus – doubleplusgood if any of you doublespeaking RPG.netizens wanders by here. But there’s lovable losers and then there’s the creepy misfits that make everything around them uncomfortable. Back in the high school days, there were always two groups of nerds.
One group was the guys (and their token girl and token athlete) who were crazy smart, but a bit hard to read because they didn’t play the social game – they were far more interested in science and books and other esoteric hobbies. You didn’t want to sit by them in the cafeteria because you had so little in common with them, but you could respect them for their brains – especially when it came time for group projects. They might have been different, but they were understandable. In most cases, they were some of the funniest people in the school, too. They had the quick wit and brains to make connections that were surprising, and it was fun to watch them make the teachers dance to their tune when they knew more about the subject than the teacher teaching the course. Different, sure, but good guys.
Then you had the booger eaters. That one table full of the complete social idiots with bad hygiene and barking laughs who assumed the world understood their in-jokes and had seen all the same movies they had. They seemed to think quoting Monty Python was the height of cleverness, and while they might have been smarter than the average bear, you never really got the impression they were all that much smarter than anyone else. They just had a weird sense of superiority that went a long way towards making everyone around them feel uncomfortable. Had Ritalin been a thing in the 1960’s – when I was wargaming in southwest Wisconsin and unknowingly waiting for the birth of D&D – they’d have been prime candidates for that particular soporific.
RPG.net is the latter group, and they need their table in the back corner of the cafeteria. It helps the rest of us can get on with life without having to hold our nose and cringe as we pass through the miasma that follows them around everywhere they go.
Go, Shannon! By which I mean, Stay Shannon! Stay there in your little kingdom of the misfit huh-doys.