For Your Table – A Progressive Spell

We here at Gaming While Conservative believe in true diversity, and for that reason we like to pause once in a while and extend an olive branch to those on the opposite side of the political aisle.  To that end, the following spell is presented for use in any tabletop RPG where the prime motivation for playing (or for talking about playing RPGs without ever getting around to actually playing one) has more to do with making political statements and educating those caveman conservatives than it does with something passé like “fun” or “enjoying yourself”.

Margaret Sanger, real world death cultist and eugenicist

Margoletta Sangier, leader of a powerful Cult of Death and creator of the spell Power Word: Choice.

Before we get to the mechanics, let’s put on our “there must be something to be offended about somewhere around here” checkered hunting cap and break out the old spyglass of detect patriarchy. Did you ever notice how the spell selection in most fantasy tabletop RPGs is so totally written for the male gaze?  Of course you haven’t – you’re either neck deep in privilege or haven’t been indoctrinated properly educated yet.  Either way, we can do a little something to redress that gross imbalance.  Consider that there are no spells that speak straight to the heart of all women everywhere – no spells empower women to take direct control of their own lives by terminating an innocent life for no reason other than that it might inconvenience them at some point.  Fear not, fellow victim, without further ado, a spell most useful for bringing your game table forward into the twenty-first century. Or back to the fourth century B.C. Same thing.


Power Word: Choice

Level: Wizard 3, Cleric 9
Domain: Death, Destruction, Evil, Necromancy
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 2d6 minutes
Range: Touch
Target: It’s complicated – see below
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw:  It’s complicated – see below

Maybe your character has been manipulated by an evil conspiracy into helping that conspiracy eliminate your undesirable race.  Maybe your character regrets making bad life choices and want to compound matters by making even worse choices.  Maybe the death of one innocent person is a small price to pay for protecting your – er, your character’s – current financial standing and lifestyle.  Whatever the reason, this spell is the easy way to clear the path to the life you really want by murdering your unborn child.

The caster places both hands on the target’s womb and the life it contains, mumbles excuses to help soothe the target’s conscience for the allotted casting time, and then the target of this spell – the older target, that is – can choose to speak the command words, “It’s not murder if we pretend hard enough!”  At the conclusion of the command words the target of this spell – the younger target, that is – makes a saving throw to negate the effects.  (As with selective miscarriages [wink, nudge] in the real world, there is always a chance that the target of this spell survives the procedure.)  Only on a critical success, a natural 20, will the spell fail and the younger target of the spell not be killed.

If successful, from the older target’s perspective, this spell completely negates all physical manifestations of the pregnancy and the “chooser” magically suffers no physical repercussions. Unlike the real world, this procedure results in  no increased risk of subsequent preterm births or cancers. The psychological effects of choosing to kill an innocent life, one granted you by the gods themselves to protect, are not negated by this procedure.  Characters who willingly participate in this spell are more likely to suffer from depression and suicide.


Your welcome, progressives.

 

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About The Alt-Right DM

At long last, a tall cool drink of alt-right water in the midst of a liberal and cuckservative desert. Inspired by the need for soldiers in the Culture War, E. Reagan Wright volunteered to stand up to the forces of progressivism before they complete their takeover of the once energetic, diverse and just plain fun hobby of role-playing games. A lone voice in the digital wilderness preaching to that quiet, right-wing remnant that has languished in the cold for years. E. Reagan Wright loves his Mom, guns, apple pie, football, and calling that lesser game by its rightful name - soccer.
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