Just kidding! We’re conservatives here, we don’t really go in for manifestos. That’s really more of a Leftist thing – a clear cut statement and litmus test to ensure dogmatic adherence to the One True Way. If you’re here to have some fun, and not as a pearl clutching faint-heart or doofish troll, then you’re probably a conservative. Which means that you’re content to do your thing and let others do theirs. Unlike the lockstep uniformity demanded by those on the Left, we accept a wide variety of right-thinking individuals. Our standards may be high, but we’ll take anyone: Tea Partiers, GamerGaters, Libertarians, even neo-cons (gasp!).
Of course, it’s easy to get along with all the weirdos on your side of the aisle when all you really want is to be left alone to do your thing in peace. If gaming really has to include all the preachy, break your arm patting yourself on the back, self righteousness that the modern Left says it does, then why not engage in preachy, back slapping, self righteousness exercised in the name of Truth, Justice, and the American Way?
So how do you know how to do that without a manifesto to tell you? Figure it out for yourself – you’re the rugged individualist here. As the amazingly humble and devilishly handsome host of this blog, I can act as a Sherpa guiding you along the path to true conservative enlightenment, but to get there you’ve got to climb that mountain yourself.
If you’re looking for a starting point, a kick in the pants, or just a few not even close to modest suggestions, consider the following:
Not everything that happens within the game has a deeper underlying meaning. Sometimes a pair of d20’s is just a pair of d20’s.
In sports, the satisfaction of being handed a trophy pales in comparison to the satisfaction of winning a trophy. In role-playing games, the satisfaction of being given a new level at the end of the session pales in comparison to the satisfaction of winning enough experience points to earn a level – regardless of how many sessions it requires. You want a hugfest where everybody wins, go play storytelling games.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter what choices you make, how hard you fight, or how smart you plan. Sometimes the dice just don’t fall your way. There are two ways to deal with the vagaries of chance, both perfectly valid. One, surround yourself with like minded folks who will gladly help you through the rough times – this requires you to help them through their own rough times. Two, pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off, and roll a new character so you can get back in the fight.
It’s okay to keep score – both to determine how well you’re doing against others, but more importantly to determine how well you’re doing against your own past performance.
There is good and evil in the world. Evil must be fought in all its forms. Sometimes evil is obvious, sometimes seductive, but always it must be resisted.
There’s nothing wrong with a good clichéd storyline. There’s a reason they’ve become clichés – they work on your brain at a deeper level than the latest trendy twist. After all, a subverted cliché is only clever so many times before it becomes the new cliché. (Anyone up for yet another in the long line of cookie-cutter strong-willed Disney princesses who fall in love with the handsome rich prince that they tell themselves they don’t really need?)
All right already. That’s enough of that. You get the idea. Go forth in peace to cogitate, make peace with your gaming, and enjoy some guilt free gaming in the style you deserve – the conservative style.
And check back soon, we’ve got a whole passle of fun posts in the works.